1. Women are unpredictable. Before marriage, she expects a man, after marriage she suspects him, and after death she respects him.
2. There was this guy who told his woman that he loved her so much that he would go thru hell for her. They got married - and now he is going thru hell.
3. A man inserted an 'ad' in the classifieds : "Wife wanted ". Next day, he received a hundred letters. They all said the same thing : "You can have mine."
4. When a man opens the door of his car for his wife, you can be sure of one thing: either the car is new or the wife.
5. It's easy to tell if a man is married or not. Just watch him drive a car with a woman sitting beside him. If both his hands are on the wheel, you can be sure he is married.
6. A man received a letter from some kidnappers. The letter said, "If you don't promise to send us $100,000 I swear that we will kidnap your wife." The poor man wrote back, " I am afraid I can't keep my promise but I hope you will keep yours."
7. What's the matter, you look depressed." "I'm having trouble with my wife." "What happened?" "She said she wasn't going to speak to me for 30 days." "But that ought to make you happy." "It did, but today is the last day."
WOMAN
When she is 18 - She is a football, 22 men going after her.
When she is 28 - She is a hockey ball, 8 men going after her.
When she is 38 - She is a golf ball, 1 man hitting on her.
When she is 48 - She is a pingpong ball, 2 men pushing to each other.
MAN
At 20 - A man is like a coconut, so much to offer, so little to give.
At 30 - He is like a durian, dangerous but delicious.
At 40 - He is like a watermelon, big, round and juicy.
At 50 - He is like a mandarin orange, the season comes once in a year.
At 60 - He is just like a raisin, dried out, wrinkles and cheap.
Marriage Humour In the beginning,
-- God created earth and rested. Then God created man and rested. Then God created woman. Since then, neither God nor man has rested.
----------------------------------------
This is a love letter from a boy to a girl...
However,the girl's father does not like him and
want them to stop the relationship...
So, the boy wrote this letter to the little girl.
"The great love that I have for you
is gone, and I find my dislike for you
grows every day. When I see you,
I do not even like your face;
the one thing that I want to do is to
look at other girls. I never wanted to
marry you. Our last conversation
was very boring and has not
made me look forward to seeing you again.
You think only of yourself
If we were married, I know that I would find
life very difficult, and I would have no
pleasure in living with you. I have a heart
to give, but it is not something that
I want to give to you. No one is more
foolish and selfish than you, and you are not
able to care for me and help
I sincerely want you to understand that
I speak the truth. You will do me a favor
if you think this the end. Do not try
to answer this. Your letters are full of
things that do not interest me. You have no
true love for me. Good-bye! Believe me,
I do not care for you. Please do not think that
I am still your boyfriend."
So bad..... However, the boy told the girl before to
"READ BETWEEN THE LINES", meaning only to read 1.3.5.7.9.11.13......
So...Please read it again!....it's so smart n sweet...Interesting right??
-Debbie4/29/2004 02:22:00 PM
Sunday, April 25, 2004
Two weeks ago was my 35th birthday and I wasn't feeling too hot that morning.
I went to breakfast knowing my wife would be pleasant and say "Happy Birthday" and would probably have a present for me.
But she forget to say "Happy Birthday", She didn't even say "Good Morning".
I thought, "Well, that's wives for you, the children will remember."
Children came in to breakfast and didn't say a word.
I started off to the office feeling pretty low.
As I walked into my office my secretary, Janet, said, "Good morning, boss. Happy Birthday."
And I felt a little better; someone had remembered.
I worked until noon.
Then, Janet knocked on my door and said, "You know, it's such a beautiful day outside and it's your birthday, let's go to lunch, just you and me."
I said, " That's the greatest thing I've heard all day. Let's go."
We went to lunch. We didn't go where we normally go;
we went out to the country to a little private place.
We had two martinis and enjoyed lunch tremendously.
On the way back to the office, she said, "You know, it's such a beautiful day. We don't need to go back to the office, do we?"
I said, "No, I guess not."
She said, "Let's go to my apartment."
After arriving at her apartment she said, "Boss, if you don't mind, I think I'll go change."
"Sure," I excitedly replied.
She went into the bedroom and, in about six minutes, she came out carrying a big birthday cake, followed by my wife, children, and dozens of our friends, all singing Happy Birthday.
And there I sat... on the couch..... naked.
-Debbie4/25/2004 09:41:00 PM
A well-known speaker started off his seminar by holding up a $20 bill. In the room of 200, he asked, "What is this piece of paper & is it worth anything?"
"It is a $20 bill, encashable in international & national markets for its quoted value?" replied one of the many participants who raised their hands.
He proceeded to crumple the dollar bill up using both his hands till it became a bundle of wrinkled paper. He then unfolded it again and making an unsuccessful attempt to keep it straight he asked, "Would you still be able to negotiate it for it's quoted value?"
" Yes!!" was the echoing reply from the participants.
"Well," he said, "Looks like I haven't done enough! What if I do this?" And he dropped it on the ground and started to grind it into the floor with his shoe. He picked it up, which was now all crumpled, dirty, defaced & not easy to recognise from a distance. "Now will some one like to trade it for its quoted value?" Many hands went in the air.
"I think this piece of currency is still holding its quoted value," replied a participant in a slightly unsure voice. "This bill can still fetch goods worth 20 Dollars,” said the other participants. Every one agreed.
"My friends, there is a very valuable lesson in this exercise that we are just through with. It may have appeared to some of you, that I was able to deshape, deface, mutilate & alter the $20 bill during the process as the effects were quite visible". "However, No matter what I did to this piece of paper, you still upheld its negotiability because you were sure in your mind that my actions did not actually decrease its value. It was still a currency note worth $20".
"Many times in our lives, we feel like as if we are dropped, crumpled, and ground into the dirt by the decisions we make and/or the circumstances that come our way. We feel as though we are worthless. It may also appear to onlookers as if it has really happened to certain extent. But no matter what has happened or what will happen, please remember you never lose your "Value"."
Values that you cherish are indeed devoid of worldly disturbance & always are your saviour.
Many a times, we judge people and ourselves through outer appearance. We spend so much time and money to groom ourselves but forget to cultivate our inner soul and mind with education and reading. You may be unwashed, dirty and shabby but don’t forget that little integrity, honesty and righteousness you possess. No matter how miserable and devastated you are during times of adversities, your wealth of experience and knowledge are still an asset. Failure is the mother of all success.
-Debbie4/25/2004 09:33:00 PM
:: A Story from the Mental Hospital.. ::
Jim and Mary were both patients in a Mental Hospital.
One day, while they were walking past the hospital swimming pool.
Jim suddenly jumped into the deep end.
He sank like a stone to the bottom and stayed there.
Mary promptly jumped in to save him.
She swam to the bottom and pulled him out.
When the medical director became aware of Mary's heroic act, he immediately ordered her to be discharged from the hospital, as he now considered her to be mentally stable .
When he went to tell her the news, he said, "Mary, I have good news & bad news. The good news is you're being discharged because since you were able to jump in and save the life of another patient, I think you've regained your senses".
"The bad news is that Jim, the patient you saved, hanged himself in the bathroom with the belt of his robe. I am so sorry, but he's dead".
Mary replied, "He didn't hang himself, I put him there to dry"
-Debbie4/25/2004 09:31:00 PM
Tuesday, April 20, 2004
This guy can really rap well. Might even be a risk to Jay Chou...
Its sad that he died already....
Mr Song is a Taiwanese born with an IQ of 180.... Due to the education system of Taiwan and his health problems, his mum decided to send him to America when he was 14. As he had spent 14 yrs in Taiwan, he had a hard time adapting to life in America, thus he had to keep changing schools and temporary housing.
Being innocent and naive, he was framed by his "buddies" and was sentenced to 3-maths jail term for blackmail when he was 19. After experiencing so much in life and seeing so many things in jail, he wrote this song called "Life's a Struggle" which depicts what he had gone though. He realised that he had bone cancer when he was 20. when his mum received a phone call from him in 2001, he was already at the 3rd stage, and it was the doctor, who couldnt bear to see him suffer alone, insisted that he called his mum on the spot and told her about it. However, his condition worsened, he died in his mum's arms at the age of 23.
He may not be any famous celebrity, but this is just a little something his mum and his cousin could do for him, and that is to let his talent be recognised.
Hope you all will enjoy this rap.....
Oh and erhm its in chinese...
http://www.zheteng.com/ttt/lifeview.htm
-Debbie4/20/2004 09:25:00 PM
Sunday, April 18, 2004
ok. heres a joke i heard from sheena. i dun think its realli farnee becoz ur reading. if its listen itll be farneeer.
doda and dida went fishing..
they fished and fished but nothing was cot.. bud suddenli doda fell into the river.. and drowned..
dida was frantic and rushed home to tell his parents. he screamed and screamed but could not get his words out.."its ok. speak slowly. dun need to go so fast"
however, dida still wasnt able to sae anithing.//
"y dun u sing instead??"
dida stopped shouting to think
~~~
"we went fishing guess who drowned.. dooda dooda.."
-Debbie4/18/2004 02:57:00 PM
Wednesday, April 14, 2004
I did it in 5 seconds.
I deserved an A++!!
Take the How Dexterous Are You? Quiz!!
-Debbie4/14/2004 11:22:00 PM
ok. no good jokes now. how? U provide me jokes please? send it to:
thats_me_now@hotmail.com
ill state hu its from frm now on okies?? :D
Idiot Labels
On Sears hairdryer:
Do not use while sleeping.
(Gee, that's the only time I have to work on my hair!)
On a bag of Fritos:
You could be a winner! No purchase necessary. Details inside.
(The shoplifter special!)
On a bar of Dial soap:
Directions: Use like regular soap.
(and that would be how?)
On some Swann frozen dinners:
Serving suggestion: Defrost.
(But it's 'just' a suggestion!)
On Tesco's Tiramisu dessert: (printed on bottom of the box)
Do not turn upside down.
(Too late! you lose!)
On Marks & Spencer Bread Pudding:
Product will be hot after heating.
(Are you sure? Let's experiment.)
On packaging for a Rowenta iron:
Do not iron clothes on body.
(But wouldn't that save more time?)(Whose body?)
On Boot's Children's cough medicine:
Do not drive car or operate machinery.
(We could do a lot to reduce the construction accidents if we just kept those 5 year olds off those fork lifts.)
On Nytol sleep aid:
Warning: may cause drowsiness.
(One would hope!)
On a Korean kitchen knife:
Warning: keep out of children.
(hmm...something must have gotten lost in the translation...)
On a string of Christmas lights:
For indoor or outdoor use only.
(As opposed to use in outer space.)
On a food processor:
Not to be used for the other use.
(Now I'm curious.)
On Sainsbury's peanuts:
Warning: contains nuts.
(but no peas?)
On an American Airlines packet of nuts:
Instructions: open packet, eat nuts.
(somebody got paid big bucks to write this one...)
On a Swedish chainsaw:
Do not attempt to stop chain with your hands.
(Raise your hand if you've tried this...)
On a child's Superman costume:
Wearing of this garment does not enable you to fly.
(Oh go ahead! That's right, destroy a universal childhood belief.)
(this is coped from hm's reads)
-Debbie4/14/2004 10:57:00 PM
Friday, April 09, 2004
Prime Ministers from USA, UK and Singapore were travelling on a warship that was cruising near S.Arabia. The 3 were talking about how brave their soldiers were when their cordial discussion soon turned into an argument where each wanted to prove the bravery of their own soldiers.
The Pres. of USA said, "Let me show you what is guts", where upon he called his Colonel and said "Jump into the sea and swim 3 rounds around this ship!"
The Colonel replied, "Anything for Uncle Sam, Sir. And he jumped into the shark infested sea and swam 3 rounds around the ship, with the sharks chasing him like mad!
After the successful 3 rounds, the Colonel came up to the deck and said, "I did it for Uncle Sam, Mr. President!". The proud US President replied, "That's what I call guts!".
The Prime Minister of UK became aggressive and quickly called his General and said, "General, jump into the sea and swim 10 rounds around this ship!"
The General replied "Anything for the Queen, Sir." And he jumped into the shark infested sea and swam 10 rounds around the ship, with the sharks chasing him frantically.
After the successful 10 rounds the 3-star General came up to the deck and said, "Long Live the Queen!" The proud UK PM replied "That's what I call guts!"
The Prime Minister of Singapore couldn't control himself. He had to show that his soldiers have it too. He called on a Private and said to him, "Soldier, jump into the sea and swim 15 rounds around this ship!"
The Private replied angrily, "Oi, you siao (crazy) izzit?! I juz bought my 4-room and I am paying through my nose. Now, you want me to jump and die ah? If you want to hao lian (show off), you jump into the sea yourself lah!"
The Singapore PM smiled and said, "Now,that's what I call guts!".
-Debbie4/09/2004 01:46:00 PM
I clicked a non-existent link one day that was hosted on Angelfire. The 404 sentence that it showed was hilarious! I refreshed and there was another one! I kept doing this because it was amusing to me. This is what I think that are the complete list of Angelfire 404 sentences. They're hilarious!
A billion websites, and you had to pick this one.
Aliens must have abducted this page!
Apparently, this page is not compatible with any browsers.
CDIV (Et tu, Angelfire?)
First crop circles and now this... Weird!
Great, now you've gone and done it. You've broken the Internet. Way to go!
Hope you didn't pay too much for that URL.
If at first you don't succeed, type, type again.
If someone makes a webpage and gives the wrong URL, does it really exist?
If true happiness can only be achieved through a state of nothingness, you're going down the right path.
If you had a nickel for each time you hit an incorrect URL, you'd be 5 cents richer right now.
If you're reading this, it means this page is no more. It's probably not your fault.
It looks like the typing class your cat is taking is not 100% successful.
It only takes one wrong letter to hold back this page, not a nation of millions.
'I remember when the internet only had a few pages, and they all worked' - 'Sure, Grampa...'
Missing: One Home Page.
Nothing to see here. Move along, buddy.
OK, that's the last time we let you drive.
On the internet, no one can hear you scream.
Some folks can see dead people - can you see dead pages?
Sometimes we like to get a little crazy and type in totally random URLs to see what happens.
That'll teach you to buy a "good as new" URL.
The dog ate your webpage. Yeah, that's it.
The page you are looking for has spontaneously combusted.
The page you requested is taking a coffee break.
The page you wanted is taking a long lunch.
This page has moved to California to find itself.
This page is only viewable by Jimmy Hoffa, Amelia Earhart, Jim Morrison, and Howard Hughes.
This webpage packed its bags and moved to Toledo.
Wait, don't leave! Let's make our own webpage!
We didn't do it.
We have to stop meeting like this. Seriously.
We sent this page to NASA for testing.
You had better pull over and ask for directions.
Your lucky numbers for today: 4, 0, 4.
Your URL is an Unreliable Resource Locator.
You're disappointed? Mom wanted us to be a doctor.
-Debbie4/09/2004 01:44:00 PM
The following scene took place on a BA flight between Johannesburg and London.
A white woman, about 50 years old, was seated next to a black man. Obviously disturbed by this, she called the air Hostess.
"Madam, what is the matter?" the hostess asked.
"You obviously do not see it then?" she responded. "You placed me next to a black man. I do not agree to sit next to someone from such a repugnant group. Give me an alternative seat."
"Be calm please", the hostess replied. Almost all the places on this flight are taken. I will go to see if another place is available." The Hostess went away and then came back a few minutes later.
"Madam, just as I thought, there are no other available seats in the economy class. I spoke to the captain and he informed me that there is also no seat in the business class. All the same, we still have one place in the first class."
Before the woman could say anything, the hostess continued. "It is not usual for our company to permit someone from the economy class to sit in the first class However, given the circumstances, the captain feels that it would be scandalous to make someone sit next to someone sooooo disgusting."
She turned to the black guy, and said. "Therefore, Sir, if you would like to, please take your hand luggage because a seat awaits you in the first class. "
At the moment, the other passengers who were shocked by what they had just witnessed stood up and applauded
-Debbie4/09/2004 01:41:00 PM
STUPID QUESTIONS WITH THE SMART ANSWERS:
BOY : May I hold your hand?
GIRL : No thanks, it isn't heavy.
GIRL : Say you love me! Say you love me!
BOY : You love me...
GIRL : If we become engaged will you give me a ring??
BOY : Sure, what's your phone number??
GIRL : I think the poorest people are the happiest.
BOY : Then marry me and we'll be the happiest couple
GIRL : Darling, I want to dance like this forever.
BOY : Don't you ever want to improve??
BOY : I love you and I could die for you!
GIRL : How soon??
BOY : I would go to the end of the world for you!
GIRL : Yes, but would you stay there??
SHARON : Have you ever had a hot passionate, burning kiss??
TRACY : I did once. He'd forgotten to take the cigarette out of his mouth.
MAN : You remind me of the sea.
WOMAN : Because I'm wild, romantic and exciting?
MAN : NO, because you make me sick.
WIFE : You tell a man something, it goes in one ear and comes out of the other.
HUSBAND : You tell a woman something: It goes in both ears and comes out of the mouth.
MARY : John says I'm pretty. Andy says I'm ugly.What do u think,
Peter?
PETER : A bit of both. I think you're pretty ugly.
1) Girlfriend : "...And are you sure you love me and no one else ?"
Boyfriend : "Dead Sure! I checked the whole list again yesterday".
2) Teacher : "Which is more important to us, the sun or the moon?"
Pupil : "The moon".
Teacher : "Why?"
Pupil : "The moon gives us light at night when we need it but the sun gives us light only in the day time when we don't need it".
3) Teacher : "What do you call a person who keeps on talking when people are no longer interested?"
Pupil : "A teacher".
4) Waiter : "Would you like your coffee black?"
Customer : "What other colors do you have?"
5) My father is so old that when he was in school, history was called current affairs.
6) Teacher : "Sam, you talk a lot !"
Sam : "It's a family tradition".
Teacher : "What do you mean?"
Sam : "Sir, my grandpa was a street hawker, my father is a teacher".
Teacher : "What about your mother?"
Sam : "She's a woman".
7) Tom : "How should I convey the news to my father that I've failed?"
David: "You just send a telegram: Result declared, past year's performance repeated".
8) Teacher : "Now, children, if I saw a man beating a donkey and stopped him, what virtue would I be showing?"
Student : "Brotherly love".
9) Teacher : "Now, Sam, tell me frankly do you say prayers before eating?"
Sam : "No sir, I don't have to, my mom is a good cook".
10) Patient : "What are the chances of my recovering doctor?"
Doctor : "One hundred percent. Medical records show that nine out of ten people die of the disease you have. Yours is the tenth case I've treated. The others all died".
11) Teacher : " Can anybody give an example of COINCIDENCE?"
One Student : "Sir, my Mother and Father got married on the same day and at the same time."
12) Teacher : " George Washington not only chopped down his father's Cherry tree, but also admitted doing it.
Now do you know why his father didn't punish him ?"
One Student: " Because George still had the axe in is hand."
-Debbie4/09/2004 01:34:00 PM
Spell your name and copy what each letter signifies about your personality. Post it so others could get a clear picture of what a beautiful person you really are! :)
>````````````````````````````````````````````````
>
> A You can be very quiet when you have something on your mind.
> B You are always cautious when it comes to meeting new people.
> C You definitely have a partier side in you, dont be shy to show it.
> D You have trouble trusting people.
> E You are a very exciting person.
> F Everyone loves you.
> G You have excellent ways of viewing people.
> H You are not judgemental.
> I You are always smiling & making others smile.
> J Jealousy.
> K You like to try new things.
> L Love is something you deeply believe in.
> M Success comes easily to you.
> N You like to work, but you always want a break
> O You are very open-minded.
> P You are very friendly and understanding.
> Q You are a hypocrite.
> R You are a social butterfly.
> S You are very broad-minded.
> T You have an attitude, a big one.
> U You feel like you have to equal up to people's standards.
> V You have a very good physical and looks.
> W You like your privacy .
> X You never let people tell you what to do .
> Y You cause a lot of trouble.
> Z You're always fighting with someone
-Debbie4/09/2004 01:33:00 PM
Tuesday, April 06, 2004
http://www.geocities.co.jp/Milano-Cat/7098/abc.html
darn ra. pls dun see if u think corny/ horny jokes are bad:D
learn ur ABC!s
-Debbie4/06/2004 05:41:00 PM
A NUS graduate found himself difficult to get a job here. He finally accepted the offer to work with Mandai Zoo."What to do? It's better to work like this than earning nothing...", mumbling to himself.
So since that day, the IT grad started work acting as a monkey. He has to wear monkey suit and mask, chew nuts and eat bananas. He has to climb trees too and jump from one to another to attract visitors. The zoo has since then enjoyed tremendous business due to the increase in visitors.
Even SM Lee wanted to see the super 'smart' monkey in the world. Unfortunately, one day when he was jumping from the trees.
He fell down into a crocodile pool!"Oh my God....I'm dying... now" he thought, as a hungry looking crocodile swam steadily towards his direction. In the middle of his struggle, suddenly he heard a soft voice, "Don't be afraid my friend... I'm from NTU".
-Debbie4/06/2004 05:35:00 PM
Sunday, April 04, 2004
Jan 01 to Jan 11 - Fir Tree
Jan 12 to Jan 24 - Elm Tree
Jan 25 to Feb 03 - Cypress Tree
Feb 04 to Feb 08 - Poplar Tree
Feb 09 to Feb 18 - Cedar Tree
Feb 19 to Feb 28 - Pine Tree
Mar 01 to Mar 10 - Weeping Willow Tree
Mar 11 to Mar 20 - Lime Tree
Mar 21 - Oak Tree
Mar 22 to Mar 31 - Hazelnut Tree
Apr 01 to Apr 10 - Rowan Tree
Apr 11 to Apr 20 - Maple Tree
Apr 21 to Apr 30 - Walnut Tree
May 01 to May 14 - Poplar Tree
May 15 to May 24 - Chestnut Tree
May 25 to Jun 03 - Ash Tree
Jun 04 to Jun 13 - Hornbeam Tree
Jun 14 to Jun 23 - Fig Tree
Jun 24 - Birch Tree
Jun 25 to Jul 04 - Apple Tree
Jul 05 to Jul 14 - Fir Tree
Jul 15 to Jul 25 - Elm Tree
Jul 26 to Aug 04 - Cypress Tree
Aug 05 to Aug 13 - Poplar Tree
Aug 14 to Aug 23 - Cedar Tree
Aug 24 to Sep 02 - Pine Tree
Sep 03 to Sep 12 - Weeping Willow Tree
Sep 13 to Sep 22 - Lime Tree
Sep 23 - Olive Tree
Sep 24 to Oct 03 - Hazelnut Tree
Oct 04 to Oct 13 - Rowan Tree
Oct 14 to Oct 23 - Maple Tree
Oct 24 to Nov 11 - Walnut Tree
Nov 12 to Nov 21 - Chestnut Tree
Nov 22 to Dec 01 - Ash Tree
Dec 02 to Dec 11 - Hornbeam Tree
Dec 12 to Dec 21 - Fig Tree
Dec 22 - Beech Tree
Dec 23 to Dec 31 - Apple Tree
APPLE TREE (the Love) -
of slight build, lots of charm, appeal, and attraction,
pleasant aura, flirtatious, adventurous, sensitive,
always in love, wants to love and be loved,
faithful and tender partner, very generous,
scientific talents, lives for
today, a carefree philosopher with imagination.
ASH TREE (the Ambition) -
uncommonly attractive, vivacious, impulsive,
demanding, does not care for criticism,
ambitious, intelligent, talented, likes to play with fate,
can be egotistic, very reliable and trustworthy,
faithful and prudent lover, sometimes
brains rule over the heart,
but takes partnership very seriously.
BEECH TREE (the Creative) -
has good taste, concerned about its looks, materialistic,
good organization of life and career, economical,
good leader, takes no unnecessary risks,
reasonable, splendid lifetime companion,
keen on keeping fit (diets, sports, etc.)
BIRCH TREE (the inspiration) -
vivacious, attractive, elegant, friendly, unpretentious,
modest, does not like anything in excess, abhors the
vulgar, loves life in nature and in calm,
not very passionate, full of imagination, little ambition,
creates a calm and content atmosphere.
CEDAR TREE (the Confidence) -
of rare beauty, knows how to adapt, likes luxury, of good health,
not in the least shy, tends to look down on others,
self-confident, determined, impatient, likes to impress others,
many talents, industrious, healthy optimism, waiting
for the one true love, able to make quick decisions.
CHESTNUT TREE (the Honesty) -
of unusual beauty, does not want to impress, well-developed
sense of justice, vivacious, interested, a born diplomat,
but irritates easily and sensitive in company, often due to a
lack of self confidence, acts sometimes superior,
feels not understood loves only once,
has difficulties in finding a partner.
CYPRESS TREE (the Faithfulness) -
strong, muscular, adaptable, takes what life has to give,
content, optimistic, craves money and acknowledgment,
hates loneliness, passionate lover which
cannot be satisfied, faithful, quick-tempered,
unruly, pedantic, and careless.
ELM TREE (the Noble-mindedness) -
pleasant shape, tasteful clothes, modest demands,
tends not to forgive mistakes, cheerful, likes to lead
but not to obey, honest and faithful
partner, likes making decisions for others,
noble-minded, generous, good sense of humor, practical.
FIG TREE (the Sensibility) -
very strong, a bit self-willed, independent does not
allow contradiction or arguments, loves life, its family,
children and animals, a bit of a social
butterfly, good sense of humor, likes idleness and
laziness, of practical talent and intelligence.
FIR TREE (the Mysterious) -
extraordinary taste, dignity, sophisticated, loves
anything beautiful, moody, stubborn, tends to egoism
but cares for those close to them, rather modest, very
ambitious, talented, industrious, uncontented lover, many
friends, many foes, very reliable
HAZELNUT TREE (the Extraordinary) -
charming, undemanding, very understanding, knows
how to make an impression, active fighter for social
cause, popular, moody, and capricious
lover, honest, and tolerant partner, precise sense of judgment.
HORNBEAM TREE (the Good Taste) -
of cool beauty, cares for its looks and condition, good taste,
is not egoistic, makes life as comfortable as possible,
leads a reasonable and disciplined life, looks for
kindness and acknowledgment in an emotional partner,
dreams of unusual lovers, is seldom happy with its feelings, mistrusts most people, is never sure of its decisions, very conscientious.
LIME TREE (the Doubt) -
accepts what life dishes out in a composed way,
hates fighting, stress, and labor,
dislikes laziness and idleness, soft and relenting,
makes sacrifices for friends, many talents but not
tenacious enough to make them blossom,
often wailing and complaining, very jealous but loyal.
MAPLE TREE (Independence of Mind) -
no ordinary person, full of imagination and originality,
shy and reserved, ambitious, proud, self-confident,
hungers for new experiences, sometimes nervous,
has many complexities, good memory, learns easily,
complicated love life, wants to impress.
OAK TREE (the Brave) -
robust nature, courageous, strong, unrelenting, independent, sensible, does not like change, keeps its feet on the
ground, person of action.
OLIVE TREE (the Wisdom) -
loves sun, warmth and kind feelings, reasonable, balanced,
avoids aggression and violence, tolerant, cheerful,
calm, well-developed sense of justice,
sensitive, empathetic, free of jealousy, loves to read
and the company of sophisticated people.
PINE TREE (the Particular) -
loves agreeable company, very robust, knows how to make
life comfortable, very active, natural, good companion, but
seldom friendly, falls easily in love but
its passion burns out quickly, gives up easily, everything
disappointments until it finds its ideal, trustworthy, practical.
POPLAR TREE (the Uncertainty) -
looks very decorative, not very self-confident, only courageous
if necessary, needs goodwill and pleasant surroundings,
very choosy, often lonely, great animosity, artistic nature,
good organizer, tends to lean toward
philosophy, reliable in any situation, takes partnership seriously.
ROWAN TREE (the Sensitivity) -
full of charm, cheerful, gifted without egoism, likes to draw attention, loves life, motion, unrest, and even complications,
is both dependent and independent, good taste, artistic, passionate, emotional, good company, does
not forgive.
WALNUT TREE (the Passion) -
unrelenting, strange and full of contrasts, often egotistic, aggressive, noble, broad horizon, unexpected reactions, spontaneous, unlimited ambition, no flexibility,
difficult and uncommon partner, not always liked but often admired, ingenious strategist, very jealous and passionate,
no compromise.
WEEPING WILLOW (the Melancholy) -
beautiful but full of melancholy, attractive, very empathetic,
loves anything beautiful and tasteful, loves to travel, dreamer,
restless, capricious, honest, can be influenced but is not easy
to live with, demanding, good intuition, suffers in love but
finds sometimes an anchoring partner.
-Debbie4/04/2004 07:08:00 PM
WHY IT'S GREAT TO BE A GIRL
So girls have got to deal with periods and PMT, but it isn't all as bad as you think, below are 8 reasons to be glad you're not a boy...
1. You don't have to pee in front of strangers when you go to public loos!
2. You can wear trousers or skirts, trainers or heels - boys get odd looks if they wanna do that!
3. Periods might not be nice, but they're a great excuse to skip PE! Plus, you're allowed to be moody once a month and blame it on your hormones.
4. You mature quicker than boys - and don't get involved in those stupid pretend fights they have at every possible oppurtunity.
5. You can wear make-up to hide your spots or make yourself look better. Boys would rather eat toenails than be seen with a cover-up!
6. You can wear your hair in loadsa different styles - plus add lots of gorge accessories.
7. Girls can cry at sad movies without being ribbed by their mates.
8. You're not expected to know who scored what in the footie last night.
See...next time you feel down in the dumps about being a girl, just remember...it is great to be a girl!!
-Debbie4/04/2004 06:56:00 PM
Friday, April 02, 2004
DO YOU KNOW THE ANSWERS?
Do you have the answer to these mind boggling questions??
Why do we say we look things UP in a dictionary when we are actually looking DOWN?
Why do all the moons of all other planets have a name but ours is just called plain old 'moon'?
What colour is a mirror?
If your bedroom is down the hall and to the left how can you go right to bed?
Why does cigarette smoke always drift in the direction of the nonmoker regardless of the direction of the breeze?
How come a dog hates it when you blow in its face but hangs its head out the window when you are driving?
Isn't it a worry that Santa is an anagram of Satan?
How big is a pond before it is a lake?
Why isn't 'Wednesday' pronounced like it's spelled?
Why do we cross our fingers for good luck?
If you got into a taxi and he started driving backwards, would the taxi driver end up owing you money?
If it's zero degrees outside today, and it is supposed to be twice as cold tomorrow, how cold is it going to be?
Why is it called building when it is already built?
If you drop a chameleon in water, will it turn clear?
If a book about failures doesn't sell, is it a success?
Isn't it a bit unnerving that doctors call what they do "practice"?
If work is so terrific, how come they have to pay you to do it?
If you're not supposed to drink and drive, then why do bars have parking lots?
If you take an oriental person and spin him around several times, does he become disoriented?
If people from Poland are called Poles, why aren't people from Holland called Holes?
Do infants enjoy infancy as much as adults enjoy adultery?
Why is the man who invests all your money called a broker?
If horrific means to make horrible, does terrific mean to make terrible?
If lawyers are debarred and clergymen defrocked, doesn't it follow that electricians can be delighted, musicians denoted, cowboys deranged, models deposed, dry cleaners depressed?
If Fed Ex and UPS were to merge, would they call it Fed UP?
Do Lipton Tea employees take coffee breaks?
If olive oil comes from olives, where does baby oil come from?
Doesn't expecting the unexpected make the unexpected become the expected?
If the speed of light is approximately 186000 miles per second, what is the speed of dark?
How do you know when you have run out of invisible ink?
If Barbie doll is so popular, why do you have to buy her friends?
What happens if you get scared half to death twice?
Why do psychics have to ask your name?
What is whiter than white?
Why is the word 'adjective' a noun?
Why do 'open 24/7' shops have locks on them?
Why does nothing rhyme with purple?
Why does nothing rhyme with orange?
How slow do you have to be to catch a cold?
Do teachers have to wear sunglasses when dealing with their bright pupils?
If fate is written in the stars, how come no-one can read it?
If all the worlds a stage, where do the audience sit?
If acid burns everything, what do you keep it in?
If superglue glues anything, why doesn't it stick to the inside of the tube?
What do nervous butterflies get in there stomach?
Why are items that are Buy One Get One Free in the sales cost twice as much as anywhere else?
What came first? The chicken or the egg?
Can a bearded man tell a bare-faced lie?
Why do TV presenters always introduce someone who needs no introduction?
Why do radio broadcasters at the end of the programme say "see you next week"?
Why is there no other word for theasaurus?
Why do teachers tell kids to look up a word in the dictionary if they can't spell it? How would anyone start looking up phlegm if they could not spell it?
Why is the word abbreviation so long?
Why is dyslexia so difficult to spell?
Why does the word 'lisp' have an S in it? Isn't that taking the P?
If "once you pop, you can't stop" .. Why do Pringles have a re-sealable lid?
Why is it called Alcoholics Anonymous when the first thing you do it stand up and go 'Hello, my name is ....'
Why do men spend 5mins complaining about having to get up to get the remote when it would only take 5secs to get up and get it?
Why do you only slip and fall when carrying fragile things?
Why are they called stairs inside but steps outside?
Who was the first person to look at a cow and say, "I think I'll squeeze these dangly things here, and drink what ever comes out?"
What was the best thing before sliced bread?
What's the opposite of opposite?
Why does Goofy stand up while Pluto remains on all fours? They're both dogs!
What do you call male ballerinas?
Why is it that when a person tells you there's over a million stars in the universe you believe them, but if someone tells you there's wet paint somewhere, you have to touch it to make sure?
Why do you get on a bus and a train but get into a car?
Why is the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star the same tune?
Why does Donald Duck wear a towel when he comes out of the shower, when he doesn't usually wear any pants?
If a cat always lands on its feet, and buttered bread always lands butter side down, what would happen if you tied buttered bread on top of a cat?
If many hands make light work, why do too many cooks spoil the broth?
4 cars at a crossroads. Who has the right of way?
-Debbie4/02/2004 11:39:00 AM
> Qn: Why is fish cunning ?
> Ans: cos yu pian mi fen (fish lie to bee hoon)
>
> Qn: What animal falls down the most?
> Ans: Fox, cos they jiao hua (cunning)
>
> Qn: What animal is most skillful?
> Ans: mouse (lao shu) cos shu shu you lian guo (uncle got training)
>
> Qn: Xiao ming drinks milk to grow up, Da ming drinks what?
> Ans: Da ming drink wine, cos Jiu Yang Da Ming
>
> Qn: Which chinese host does not have centre parting?
> Ans: wu zong xian (no centre line)
>
> Qn: Why Zhou Jie Lun Cross the Street Kana fine by police?
> Ans: Cos Jay Walking
>
> Qn:Which emperor (huang di) is blind??
> Ans: Kang xi (Can't see)
>
> Qn: How does a fish laugh?
> Ans: HE HE HE
>
> Qn: How does a prawn laugh?
> Ans: HEI HEI HEI
> < BR>> Qn: Which animal should you look for if you're unable to open a
> bottl cap?
> Ans: peacock, cos kong que kai ping
>
> Qn: Why baby don't need to brush teeth?
> Ans: cos bei bi wu chi
>
> Qn: Which button on your keyboard cannot sing?
> Ans: F4
>
> Qns: Xiao Hong, Xiao Bai, Xiao Hei, Xiao Lan, Xiao Huang, who cannot
> tahan roller-coasters?
> Ans: Xiao Bai, cos always Xiao Bai Tu
